A for Alone Time

 

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I am writing this blog from a beautiful quaint hotel lobby in central Malmö. Every time I have walked past The Hotel Duxiana I have stopped and looked in the window and said out loud “how beautiful, I need to go in one day”. Well today is the day and it is more beautiful than I imagined.

Soft piano sounds play in the background and although the swedish autumn has arrived with the wind and rain I feel cosy.

As I walked in I asked the hostess if I could sit and work on my blog, while having a tea and she was almost excited at the notion. She ushered me to the restaurant area and told me to take anything I liked from the buffet. When I asked how I should settle the bill, as I am not a guest, she warmly dismissed me and said “we can take that later”. How lovely, already I can’t wait to come back again and I haven’t even finished my first trip. The walls are white and grey, with a wall of black shelves filled with books and at the centre a black piano. There are two very modern chic chandeliers, the black tables for eating are elegantly dressed with a gold cube with lit candle inside and flower-pot. They even have elegant china tea sets for those who want to choose a more high tea feel for the buffet. Soft piano sounds play in the background and although the Swedish autumn has arrived with the wind and rain I feel cosy.

Get lost in a trashy reality show, soap opera or comedy. I have come to realise sometimes the best thing to do is escape ….

This the first time I am sitting on my own at a lobby writing and it’s an amazing feeling. I already feel myself relaxing, something that I know for a fact is very foreign to my body and mind. I am a loud mouth that’s for sure, but I’m telling you it’s because my mind goes 100 miles a minute. I used to call my best friend, Krystal, on the house phone and when she would hang up on me, she would pick up minutes later and I would still be talking. In the olden days when you called house phone to house phone you both had to hang up for the connection to end. I can literally talk to myself for hours without interruption. And yes, I know talking to yourself is the first sign of madness – WELL HELLO!!

It’s strange but this is the first time in my 34 years that I am truly appreciating alone time. I have never really had time to be on my own, I had a boyfriend from the age of 13-22 ( two different guys, with a month’s break in between).  From 20 I was splitting myself in so many different directions – friends, boyfriend, mums family, dads family, studies, work – so no time for me.  My first friends trip was at the age of 23 when I met my future husband. I think since becoming a mum I have realised how much I need and enjoy alone time. It comes in many different forms for me but it really can make all the difference to my mood. So here’s my top 5 ways of enjoying alone time – how do you take time for just you?

    1) Grab a coffee/tea/wine or beer with you – take a book or your diary or sod it trashy magazines. Go to a hotel lobby sit in a relaxing chair and read. Or sit by the window and people watch with your drink in hand. If you are lucky enough to go to a pub / restaurant bar that has a fireplace, then
    Sitting and having a cool glass of something or warm cup of something is everything, when it’s by a fireplace. Without realising your mind quietens, your shoulders relax and the smile comes naturally.
    1. 2) Grab a buddy and go workout – I turned to working out when we moved here to build up my endorphin levels. I was doing it on my own but soon stopped. Then my friends and I started a whats app workout group. Actually two sets of friends did, one in England and one here in Sweden. We tell each other what we have done that day or post pics after workouts and it helps push us on. We also go and do classes together. I don’t know about you but I have been much more motivated to go back to classes when I have a buddy to go with. My sis in law and I just signed up to this new gym that most of our friends go to so it’s pretty cool.

Nordic Wellness

     gyms have so many classes you have to scroll down the page a few times before you get to the end of the list. We have a 2 class a week minimum, but normally find ourselves doing at least.We want to try every class once to decide what we like 🙂
    3) When you’re at the beach get lost in the sea – Kevin and I had so much fun in Sardinia. There was one point where I went into the sea and just walked around, swam around and sat with no one else around me – Kev was sleeping on the sun lounger. It was heaven. I actually took the time to look at my surroundings and take it all in. Without talking to myself or someone else. Well almost I did have a go from thinking “how beautiful are those mountains” to telling myself “if a shark comes up behind me right now remember to punch it on the nose!!” But listening to the sound of the water as it moved around me, as it crashed on to the sand was magical. When I went back Kev said I’d been gone for over half an hour. It felt like 10 minutes but it felt really good to know I’d done that. Try it and maybe you’ll understand what I mean. I said to Kev I’m gonna do that every time we are by the sea even when we are with Eva – Just take time out to listen to the sea and crazy old me!
    1. 4) Girl time – spend time with your friends with and without your kids. It is so nice to not have to worry about anyone but yourself for an hour or so. To be just Elisha again and not somebody’s mum, wife, nurse, waitress, cleaner, cook or adops person! Go window shopping, or for a Sunday brunch, a night in watching Magic Mike or a night out dancing like your about to meet

Magic Mike

    !!
    1. 5) Get lost in a trashy reality show, soap opera or comedy. I have come to realise sometimes the best thing to do is escape – tune the world out and check out from hectic life 101. And as Bane from The Dark Knight Rises is not about to come and kidnap me for a few months of fun (he’s soooooo hot) I use good old

Stevey the TV

    1. to help me mentally escape for a little while. Of course my go to favs are Friends, Charmed and Will&Grace but if you haven’t seen it yet take a look at Reign, My Wife&Kids, Blackish, Lethal Weapon and

Frankie & Grace

    . F&G makes me laugh so hard and I always watch it for a pick me up. Although one time it did bring me down HARD – I had told my mum about it after only watching one episode!!! So then when she is watching it at my place 2 seasons in and they start talking about the older woman and lube it made me cringe. Well that and my mother making agreeing noises – if someone knows how to remove that memory from my head please let me know.

“YOU CALL IT ALONE, I CALL IT ENJOYING MY OWN COMPANY.

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